Here is Day 2 of our godawful fabulous RV vacation. I feel like I’m cheating by not writing new posts, and I just want you all to know that I’m okay with that. I’ll have something new and really craptastic fabulous for you tomorrow (hopefully…fingers crossed.) I’m thinking of discussing hair. My hair. It needs help. It seems the more hair I gain in undesirable places the more I lose on my freaking head. But I don’t want to ruin any surprises for tomorrow. I’m not promising to post a blog tomorrow about my hair, lest you all have expectations or some crap, I’m just saying it COULD happen. So, don’t get excited, is what I’m saying. You hear what I’m saying? lol, I just made myself laugh. I could be drunk. KIDDING, not when I have a football game tonight. That would be irresponsible (if I admitted it, which I’m not).
SHE SAID: DAY 2
Thank you Marriot Courtyard in Covington, LA for the wonderful shower, frigidly cold room and decent nights sleep! I turned the thermostat down to a crisp 61, my oldest daughter claimed she could see her breath…whatever. We are up and at ’em bright and early, Day 2. Although it looks as if we’ve been vacationing for weeks, all of us girls went to bed with wet head, and all I can say is SCARY. But, nothing a ponytail can’t fix. We head down to get our free breakfast. man-child is in rare form this morning. He managed to embarrass his mom and sisters twice in the space of 5 minutes.
First, an attractive woman of indeterminate age walks past our table and smiles at him as if to say, what a cute boy. Man-child sees her, and comments “hey, where is my grandma?” Her smile vanished pretty quickly. Second, there was a group of police officers at the table next to us, to which man-child yells out “Mommy, that man has a GUN!” and then proceeds to pretend shoot everyone in the restaurant. Okay, I think our time here is done.
Luckily, it is a short drive that awaits us this morning, a little over an hour to Biloxi, MS. We find the RV park, it’s amazing what a little sleep and daylight can do for people. The Cajun RV Park of Biloxi, MS greets us with a smiling alligator sign, we pull in. Can you live in an RV park? Some of these people look like they’ve been here for years. Don’t get me wrong, some of these RV’s are amazing, like nicer than our home, but then there are others… Of course, I can’t really be judgemental, we are in the RV with the amazing signage for Cruise America all over it. It’s very obvious when we pull in that we aren’t “RV folk” and I wouldn’t say we received a friendly welcoming, but I could just be paranoid. We check in, park the RV, and hubby does a fantastic job of hooking up our sewer and water and electricity.
On a sidenote, Man-child used our toilet on board once, and it emitted the most godawful odor any of us have ever experienced. Thank goodness we brought air freshener! That was the first and only time we’ve used the can in the RV. I don’t like to use the bathroom in public places anyway, or showers. I have an iron bladder, and luckily I haven’t been able to eat much because we’ve spent so much time driving, and I haven’t really had an appetite. Hey, maybe that’s the key to my diet, spend a year in an RV!!!! What about it kids? Oh. Ok, I guess not then.
Finally, after the 1009th time that man-child asks if we are going to the beach, we all get our swimsuits on and trek to the white sand beaches of Biloxi. The water felt so good, and it was so nice just to finally relax for once and we both enjoyed watching the kids frolic and play and goof around. We were finally having good fun, yay!!!! Of course, the major drawback of frivolity on the beach is the sand. Or to quote my oldest daughter “I think I have sand in my uterus”. There seemed to be a lot of dead things washed up on shore, I don’t know if that is normal, or due to the oil, which by the way we can’t see. The saddest was the tiny little blowfish and the giant turtle. We then see what looks to be giant storm clouds rolling in, so we pack it up and head back to our little home away from home. We head to the showers, and I had sand and other things in places I can’t even name. I showered for what seemed like an hour, and still couldn’t get the sand off. I’m hoping it has magical exfoliating properties and I come back looking younger, tanner and slimmer! It rains most of the rest of the afternoon, which is nice. We hang out, play games. The RV park offers free wi-fi, so everyone is relaxed and happy.
Finally, it’s time for dinner. The only restaurant really within walking distance is Hooters. Nothing quite says white trash like walking out of your RV park, past the Waffle House, to the Hooters. Our waitress is a little piece of sunshine. I guess she figures a family of 6 isn’t going to tip well, she doesn’t know my husband is a boob man obviously. I let the girls take hits off my Hurricane, I mean I might as well embrace my white-trashness to the fullest!
It starts sprinkling on us once we leave Hooters, so our dream of taking the girls to their first Casino has died. The girls grab the RV keys and run ahead of us, which is only an important detail, because when hubby looks for the keys later, they are nowhere to be found and the girls play the “But I gave them to so and so…” I could tell that hubby was about to have a meltdown of epic proportions, so I suggest he exit the RV while we look. After a few panicked moments where I convinced myself I would forever be trapped living in this RV park, with a clothesline and a dangly wooden sign that says “welcome to our home”, and a pen of chickens (we didn’t actually see a chicken pen, but it wasn’t hard to imagine one existing), we found the keys, in a drawer of all things. It’s amazing how many times we have lost things, the RV is not that big. So disaster averted! Another hour or so commences of playing Shoots and Ladders and Candyland before we decide it’s time for bed. Isn’t living vicariously through us on vacation exhilarating and exciting!!!
P.S. I don’t like to see Mausoleum shops on the side of the Interstate, I think it’s insensitive…just sayin’
P.S.S. I also don’t particular care for the signs nailed to trees that say “REPENT OR PERISH”, but as hubby pointed out we are in the deep south.
P.S.S.S. If hubby had seen that discovery show special on the architectural deficiencies of our nation’s bridges, he too would be nervous, and I think it’s the sheer will of my nervous, hyperventilating energy that keeps the thing together so we can cross. So there!
HE SAID: DAY 2
We wake up refreshed and ready to hit the road… from the Marriott. Hey, don’t hate, our stay here in Covington, LA, while not planned is a testament to our family’s flexibility and quick decision-making. Besides, they had comfortable beds, showers and free breakfast. YES!
As the wife and kids get breakfast I am assigned the MAN duty of getting the rolling turd loaded-up. After a quick shower, cleaned and refreshed, I step outside into the wonderful southern Louisiana climate where the humidity is so high that mist is coming off the ground, there is a thin haze in the air and sweat starts pouring from my body. By the time our RV is loaded, I look like I just found my spirit animal in the confines of a sweat lodge and we are ready to go!! Sorry about the man-smell kids.
First things first, I get gas, and Coffee (aka gas for me) and off we go. After a short drive we arrive in Biloxi. We look for the RV park, and it is not hard to spot… it is behind the gigantic sign displaying a big smiling alligator that reads, “Cajun RV Park”. Man, we know how to live! We get checked in, find our “site” ( please note the proper lingo is RV Site, not RV PIN, or RV STALL – apparently these have some derogatory connotation?) , and now onto the fun stuff – hooking up the services. Water – check. Power – check, big blue tube you stick in the ground to purge all stinky bile and evil from the RV – check & and disgusting.
Next we head to the beach. I must say, it is a beach. There is water, waves & sand. Please note we also found several dead fish, a dead blowfish, and a dead decomposing sea turtle. Fun, family time and a biology lesson! What more could one ask for. The good news, no oil in the water! So we get some sun, enjoy the beach, and head back to our home away from home.
Family time ensues and I must say, it is refreshing to watch the girls bond with their little brother and it reminds me of how wonderful they all really are. Now for the best part of my day, the wife is looking for places to eat within walking distance, and as luck would have it there is a Hooters right next door. You say coincidence, I say providence. “Yes honey, I think Hooters would be a great idea.” Now before you get too judgmental, I must submit that Hooters HAS to be a family oriented restaurant, I mean if it was not why would they have kid’s menus?
We eat, we head back my kids lose the keys to the RV. It was at this point I began to believe what Bill Cosby said about not being “real” parents unless you have multiple kids. The blame game continues for about five minutes, my wife sees the vein in my forehead popping out and in her unending wisdom suggest that I step outside the RV for a moment. I am sure she is worried that the heat coming from my forehead might set off the on board propane tanks. I won’t linger on this point. It was mentally scarring. So I will only say, the keys were found and all is well and my kids will live to see their college years.
Next stop: Destin, FL.
PS: On the toilet smell my wife speaks of… now my text the day of pick up makes sense. “we need matches, AIR FRESHNER and cleaning supplies” Man, am I smart or what?
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