Bucket List: Funny Friday Edition

FUNNY

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by  The Bergham’s Life Chronicles (http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/)

28 - Bergham's Life Chronicles - May 2016

  1. Does you child regularly take things, like your cell phone or keys and hide them but refuse to tell you where?  Today on the blog: How to safely and effectively waterboard your toddler for information.
  2. Look ma!  No hands!
  3. Bucket Yoga – it’s gonna catch on…
  4. My head isn’t stuck in this bucket at all.  Nope.  Nothing to see here folks, keep moving.  Just a toddler at play, no reason for concern. Carry on. (Mom, some help please…)
  5. Elsa and Olaf are inside the bucket, they said…  They are liars.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Measurements of Merriment   

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                        

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com               

http://www.southernbellecharm.com               

Baking In A Tornado       

Spatulas On Parade           

Bergham Chronicles  

Fly On The Wall: Low T Edition

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 9 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

————————————————————————–

My life seems filled with testosterone and nuts these days.  Two of my daughters have moved out, the third never home anymore and moving out soon.  All my conversations with man-child and my husband pretty much go like this now:

Me:  “Man-child, clean your room please.”

Man-child:  “Deez nuts ‘Merica”

Me:  …


Husband:  “Oh, I forgot to tell you I have a meeting after church.”

He tells me this…after church when we are about to leave.

Me:  “Seriously? You keep a calendar, why do you never know what’s in it?”

Husband:  “It’s low T babe.”

Low T?  My ass.  My husband could be accused of many things, low T is NOT one of them.

No matter what I ask, those are the two main responses I receive lately.  It’s enough to drive me to drink.  Men.


I don’t know how many times we get in the car, start driving down the road and the car is dinging like crazy because my husband has failed to put on his seat belt.  I put mine on before I even start the car, I don’t know why this has to be an issue with him EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE CAR.  He’ll put it on, weaving all over the road about a block from the house. I’ve told him that most accidents happen close to home.

He blames low T.

Husband:  “Well think of the life insurance you’ll get.”

REALLY?

Me:  “No, that’s not how this would work. You’d still be alive but in a vegetative state and I’d get nothing but the burden of caring for you.”

Husband:  “WOW. Just WOW.”

Me:  “Yeah my response is the problem here… PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON!”


My son spends an inordinate amount of time watching YouTube videos or Vine.  He comes away with these nuggets of awesome.

Man-child:  “She showers with Pantene, but I’ve got watermelon (pronounced watermelone) to keep me clean.”

Man-child:  “He struggles to get the ladies, but dating’s a breeze with my watermelone Mercedes.”

Man-child:  “He struggles to lift the weights, but I’ve got watermelone to keep me in shape.”

Man-child:  “He tosses and turns to the sound of thunder, but I’ve watermelone to soothe my slumber.”


Man-child texting me at the end of the school day:

Man-child: “I might be late.”  He walks home every day.

Me:  “ok, why?”

Man-child:  “I have to find my phone.”

Me:  “But you’re texting me on it?”

Man-child:  “I lost it.”

Me:  “I’m confused.”

Man-child:  “I found it.”

Me:  “I see that, so why are you going to be late?”

No response.  Sigh.  I share the texts with my husband.

His response:  “Low T.”

Sleep with one eye open honey.


My sister sent me this in response to my blog about Personal Space Invaders.  I think this is genius and I must have one!

 

IMG_0497


When asked to pick one word to describe himself, man-child said:

“DOPE.”

Word.


Snapchat fun – my son would make a pretty girl:

FullSizeRender

and I don’t even know…

IMG_0490

I showed these to my husband and his response…

yep.

“LOW T.”

You guessed it.

I’m about to show him what low T really means…


Now feel free to buzz around some other homes this morning ❤

http://www.bakinginatornado.com/2016/05/fly-on-wall-flirting-101.html

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com

http://www.menopausalmom.com/

Spatulas On Parade

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://dinoheromommy.com/ 

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

My Brain Has Left The Building…

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

My words are:

Ferris wheel ~ shortage ~ Saturn ~ collectibles ~ iron-clad ~ catchy

They were submitted by: http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

I’ve been staring at these words for over a week now, and I still don’t know what I’m going to write about.  The struggle is real.  I even tried to get inspiration from man-child.

Me:  “Help me write my blog this week using words like Saturn, Ferris wheel and collectibles.”

Man-child:  “Saturn is a nice planet.  Wanna see my crocodile pushups?”

Me:  “That’s it?  That’s all you got for me?  Saturn is a nice planet?”

Man-child:  “I can’t do your homework for you mom, that’s what you always tell me.”

Usually I feel like I’m always writing stories in my head, so it completely blows when my head is empty.  Well not empty exactly.  It feels like being stuck at the top of a Ferris Wheel.  The whole world appears stretched out before you, but you can’t make out details.  Everything looks small and far away, and instead of a clear picture, you’re left with vague impressions and an overwhelming sense of how truly small you are in the big scheme of things.

I’ve got a million thoughts floating around but can’t get a firm grasp on any of them, and some of them I’d like to forget altogether.  I think the current political climate of our country is turning my usually clear and concise thoughts and ideas into a jumbled mess of mush.  There seems to be a shortage of common sense among my fellow Americans.  I’m not going to make this a political post because that’s just not in my wheelhouse, but the whole process has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I’m so over it.

I saw a news story about a new dating website called Maple Match, where you can find a nice Canadian and settle down in your new country if you don’t like our next President and want to flee the U.S.  I kinda wish Adam Levine was Canadian. You can also resettle on a low-pop island in Canada should you choose to do so.  Canada has produced some very yummy eye candy, not gonna lie.  Men like:  Ryan Gosling, Taylor Kitsch, Scott Speedman, Drake, Nathan Fillion, Justin Bieber…okay well, I could have just stopped at Ryan Gosling, let’s be honest.  And so you men don’t feel left out, we have Rachel McAdams, Elisha Cuthbert, Evangeline Lilly, Nina Dobrev…  Every time I turn on the news, I seriously consider just relocating to Saturn and starting my own colony. I mean, according to man-child, it’s a nice planet.  Those rings are sexy.

I do enjoy this spotify commercial, it’s catchy.

Honest and open dialogue doesn’t seem to exist anymore.  I sometimes have the overwhelming sensation that the whole world has lost it’s collective mind.  All of our tiny brains sitting in tiny jars, lined up from one end of the universe to another, sold to aliens as collectibles, evidence of our folly and arrogance.

Somehow in my ramblings, I’ve managed to use almost all my words.  I’m channeling my inner Donald.  Over 600 words, yet I didn’t really say anything.  No matter who we end up electing, is it possible to get an iron-clad prenup?  So, if we wake up and realize what a huge mistake we’ve made, no matter which side you find yourself camped on, we can extricate ourselves as painlessly and quickly as possible?

At least Jon Snow is alive (for you Game of Thrones fans).  And Adam Levine is back to his super sexy self on The Voice.  And I’ve got a Kindle full of great books to lose myself in.  All is not lost…  Excuse me while I fall back into my #showhole and finish watching all the episodes of Criminal Minds (I’m on season 8).

I wish I could have done my words better justice, but at least you have these other incredible writers to peruse at your leisure and help fill the void I’ve left you with today ❤

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.bakinginatornado.com

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch

http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/

“Whole Kennels of Irritation”

“I don’t have pet peeves like some people.  I have whole kennels of irritation.” Whoopi Goldberg

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is: 

What are some of your pet peeves that you have addressed when other people do them?

It was submitted by: http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Oh boy… So many pet peeves, so little time.  When I started thinking about this topic, I realized how many things annoy me.  I could devote an entire blog post to just the things my husband does to irritate me on a daily basis, but I’m not going to pick on him today.  It’s no wonder my resting face screams bitchy though, I spend an inordinate amount of time letting other people tick me off.  This secret subject was made for me!  I’ve narrowed the list down to five in the interest of time and the consideration of my 5 readers.  You’re welcome!

ONE:  THE AISLE HOGGER

Oh, please park your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle while you peruse at your leisure.  It’s not like anyone else matters, please by all means continue acting like you have the entire store to yourself.  Don’t worry about me at all.  Oh, yeah sorry I’m making such a ruckus knocking everything off the shelves while trying to squeeze my cart in the narrow space you have so graciously left open to me.  Now I could probably say excuse me, could you please move your cart, but let us not interject reason and sensibility here.  The hogger sees me coming.  They know I’m there.  They see me struggling.  Besides, I much prefer the passive aggressive route of loud sighing, banging my cart against the shelves and mumbling under my breath, all of which continue to go ignored by the aisle hogger.  Passive aggression works both ways.

TWO: THE PERSONAL SPACE INVADER

The only thing that might peeve me more than the aisle hogger when I’m at the grocery store is the personal space invader.  Why are you practically standing on top of me while I check out?  Are you trying to read my PIN number? You won’t get far with the funds in my depleted checking account, I promise you.  And could you not let your kid pick his nose and then fondle my bananas please.  I don’t allow my husband to stand this close to me, why would you think it’s ok to take such liberties.  You’ve taken quite the interest in the items I’ve placed on the belt today.  Do you see the chocolate and tampons?  Yeah, that should tell you something.  STEP OFF!  Again, I prefer the indirect approach when dealing with these types.  More loud sighing and muttering under my breath.  If I’m feeling particularly peeved, I might even shoot a dirty look or two.  Not that this person would notice, as far up my jock as they are at the moment.

THREE: THE SPATIALLY UNAWARE

Very similar to the space invader, these offenders will sit next to you in a movie theater or on public transportation even though there are literally hundreds of options.  We have the whole rail station to ourselves, but please by all means take the seat right next to me cause that’s not creepy at all.  I especially love the men that do it and then proceed to sit with their legs splayed out blocking all entrances and exits and leaving you feeling caged and trapped.  Seriously though what is up with guys who sit with their legs all spread out?  Are we supposed to be impressed?  I’m supposed to think “WOW, he must be packing some serious heat if he has to sit like that! I wonder if he’s single!!” Don’t sit next to me in an empty movie theater either!  I never know which cup holder is mine and I don’t want to listen to you munch down on your popcorn and greasy nachos.  Not to mention, I’ll be paranoid the whole movie about why you chose that seat above all others and I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too busy giving you the side eye waiting for something bad to happen.  Of course I would never say anything, because that would be rude obviously.  Besides, my body language really speaks for me, so shame on you for not being observant enough to notice!

FOUR:  THE ONE UPPERS

My husband can be particularly bad at this one.  I know I said I wouldn’t pick on him, but I lied.  I’ll mention something like “Gosh, I didn’t sleep at all last night.” To which he will reply, “Yeah, I haven’t slept in days.”  Really?  Cause when I was staring at the ceiling last night, I was counting your snores instead of sheep.  A couple of weeks ago, I was having a particularly rough menstrual cycle.  I mention to my husband how much I’m cramping and how yucky I feel to which he replies, “Yeah, my stomach hasn’t felt so good today either. I don’t think I can eat tacos anymore.”  Really?  I literally want to dig my uterus out with a spoon at this point the pain is so intense, not to mention I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding out, and you’re going to talk about your poop problems?  SERIOUSLY?  I am bordering homicidal at this point, watch yourself buddy!  I manage to somehow control my rage and only give him the stink-eye to which he replies, “What?  What did I do?”  And he’ll say it while doing his Bill Clinton impersonation. So. Freaking. Peeved.

My other favorite is when we are in the midst of a pretty intense argument of some kind, and I’m making some really valid points but I can tell he’s not listening at all, instead he’s busy planning his rebuttal.  How can you plan a rebuttal when you don’t even understand all the nuances to why you’ve screwed up in the first place! Is it any wonder, I’m contemplating filing my tampon to a fine point and using it as a weapon!  No jury would convict me.  At least I’d finally get a captive audience.

FIVE:  NICE TO MEET YOU…AGAIN

I’m terrible with names and faces.  I’m the first to admit this and I recognize it as one of my many shortcomings.  Which is why, when I’m not sure if we’ve met before, I’ll just say something like “nice to see you.”  Nothing irritates me more than meeting someone for the first time for the fifth time.  My husband has a job where he has to interface with many people and I understand that I’m just “the wife” but honestly is it really that hard to remember if you’ve met me previously?  Am I that forgettable?  I’m often tempted to call them out on it, but I know it’s not done purposefully to hurt my feelings.  I can’t take it personally, except I do.  No one wants to feel invisible.  It doesn’t feel good.

What I’ve discovered over the last week while sorting through my list of pet peeves is that most of them just involve a little self-awareness.  We are probably all guilty of all of these and many more at one time or another.  It’s easy to get caught up in our busy lives, our own problems and issues and fail to notice how our actions and behaviors affect those around us, both those people we know and those we don’t know.  I passed a woman in the parking lot the other day and she said “I love your workout pants, so cute!”  She made my whole day.  It was such a stupid little thing, but the 2 seconds she spared to throw a tiny compliment to a stranger, changed the course of my entire day.  I had an extra spring in my step.  I felt pretty adorable in my cute workout pants and in turn I was a kinder, gentler and perhaps nicer version of my usual self.  Kindness is catching, so are smiles.  Spread them around today ❤

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/

http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://thelieberfamily.com

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch

http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/

Hashtag Puglife

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Southern Belle Charm (http://www.southernbellecharm.com)

27 - Southern Belle Charm - April 2016

  1. *Swiped right* – now I wait #poodlesarehot #thatshihtzuthough (Tinder @ OnceYouGoPug)
  2. Waiting on bae to message me back has got me like… #cantlookaway #itsbeen5minutes
  3. “Bet you can’t watch this without laughing” – challenge accepted YouTube #laughingnotlaughing #laughingontheinside (follow me @ Vine: ThugPug)
  4. Just Netflexin’ and chillin’ like a boss #thuglife #swag #imsosexyithurts
  5. When bae tells you she’s got homework, but her Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, YouTube, Google + and Tumblr suggests otherwise… #notastalker #followthugpug #likeaboss #onceyougopug

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/    

Measurements Of Merriment    

Dino Hero Mommy                           

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com               

http://www.southernbellecharm.com               

Baking In A Tornado        

Someone Else’s Genius        

Spatulas On Parade            

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE ❤

The Scale: A Love/Hate Relationship

Use Your Words

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” Thomas Carlyle

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

flowers ~ showers ~ puddles ~ kittens ~ apples and bananas

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

My weight loss update is a week late this month.  I debated talking about it at all.  When I last checked in, I weighed 208lbs.  I purposefully only weigh once per month.  I don’t want to be a slave to my scale like I’ve been in the past, allowing the number seen there to determine my course on that particular day.  If I was a pound down, I’d celebrate by being lax on my diet or exercise.  If I was up a pound, I’d be filled with self-loathing and soothe myself with poor food choices.  Things I knew I shouldn’t eat, telling myself it didn’t matter anyway.  Allowing myself to spiral out of control which fed the negative internal dialogue running day and night through my mind, on a loop.  It was a vicious cycle that destroyed my self-confidence, gave credence to all the bad things I felt about myself and sabotaged any progress I might have made up to that point.  I knew it was one of the many behaviors/habits that I would have to change after my surgery.

Before I stepped on the scale on April 5th, I was so excited!  I just knew I was finally going to be entering the promise land.  I was going, for the first time in over 10 years, to be under 200lbs.  I was giddy.  My stomach filled with nerves and the butterflies of excitement.  I stripped down naked that morning and practically jumped on the scale, squeezing my eyes shut, counting to 10 before prying one eye open and glancing down.

WHAT!?!?!??!?!  NOOOOOOOOOO!  THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT!  Oh, I forgot to take my ponytail holder out of my hair, that is clearly the explanation.  Stepping off the scale, I rip that black rubber monstrosity out of my hair, and move towards the scale again.  Wait!  Maybe I need to pee.  I mean I already went, but there could be some more hanging out there in my bladder.  Right?  Seems legit.  I took my wedding rings off too, just to be safe.

I gently step on the scale again, closing my eyes tight.  I send up a quick prayer.  I wasn’t being greedy, I would have been ecstatic for a 199 lbs. I just wanted to be in ONEDERLAND! I’d also like to weigh less than my husband, but when he tops out at a buck fifty soaking wet, well… If he had been there, I probably would have punched him in the face.  Misdirected rage to be sure, but I might have felt better.  A little.  For a bit.  Maybe.  I’m already feeling a tad better just thinking about it…in slow motion, over and over.  Amazing what imagining a little physical violence can do for a girl. I can handle that number, whatever it is.  Come what may, I open my eyes and look down.

Spittin’ kittens.  That’s how mad I was when I looked down for the second time.  I never really understood that phrase, but it works here, so I’m going with it.

201 lbs

When I started this journey, I knew it wouldn’t be all flowers, rainbows and unicorn showers.  I knew the surgery wasn’t a miracle cure or a quick fix.  I knew I’d have to work hard, and it would take time and perseverance.  I knew that my attitude about my success and failures would determine the ultimate outcome and that I’d have to change the behaviors that brought me to 287 pounds in the first place.  I’ve lost a total of

86 pounds!

I’ve accomplished so much already.  I know logically I have so much to be proud of and I am proud of myself and how far I’ve come.  I don’t think I’m alone in judging my success or failure based on that stupid number on the scale.  I hate that I can’t seem to find a way to celebrate my successes without beating myself up with the things I didn’t do or accomplish.  Sometimes all I can see are the things I failed to do. I find it at times paralyzing and blinding, eclipsing the positive, dimming my joy.  I can’t see the 7 pound loss.  I just see those 2 pounds keeping me from 199.

It was a rough week.  I just want all this excess weight to fall off into puddles around my feet, so I can kick it all away, never to be seen again. In the past, I would have let this disappointment control me.  I would have chosen the cookies and pizza over the apples and bananas.  I would have sunk into despair, beating myself up.

I was angry.

I was disappointed.

I allowed myself to feel everything I was feeling.  I didn’t bottle it up.  I didn’t use food to self-medicate.  I didn’t throw myself on the couch, binge watching Netflix, hooked up to a chocolate IV with a jug of wine at my side.  I was pissed.  I felt cheated.

I got over it.  It took a few days, I won’t lie.  Things got a bit dark.  It was actually anger over something else and a lesson at church that delivered me out of my funk.  I was at church.  I hadn’t had breakfast, and I was starving, so I grabbed a blueberry donut, then I went to make myself a cup of coffee.  I’m standing in the little kitchenette juggling my donut, trying to pour myself a cup, when these two women came in.  I don’t know them.  They are having a conversation about shoes or something.  Then the one lady looks over at me, and says,

“At least I managed to avoid the donuts today…”

The tiny bite I had taken turned to ash in my mouth.  I just stood there, as they continued to talk around me about eating healthy.  I blinked my eyes quickly to stop the tears building up.  I don’t think she meant to food shame me, but everything I’d been feeling throughout the week, just bubbled up and hit me all at once.  I felt once again like that 287 pound girl, guilty and ashamed.  I hate that feeling.  I never want to feel that way again.  Ever.  I threw that donut away and walked to my Sunday School class.  Angry.  Frustrated.

Our lesson that day was about how God is always with you, and an analogy from the movie “The Bear” was used.  It’s a movie about an orphan bear cub that gets adopted by an adult male bear and follows their adventures, it came out in 1988.  There was a scene where the baby bear runs into this mountain cat that wants to eat him and he raises himself up and lets out this tiny baby bear growl.  The mountain cat hunches down and slinks away.  Baby bear is feeling all proud of himself.  What he can’t see is his friend, the ginormous adult male bear, standing behind him, raised up and roaring, scaring the cat away.  We are the baby cubs and God is always behind us, helping us fight our demons, our battles, chasing them away with his strength and power, awe and might.  We don’t always see Him, and we think we are alone, and we forget to lean on Him, trust in Him.  We try to take control and handle things ourselves, forgetting that He’s always behind us, ready to push us or catch us.  Always meeting us where we are with what we need.

I’d forgotten.  I’d allowed myself to wallow in self-pity.  I’ve lost 86 pounds!  86 pounds! I’ve already done more than I ever imagined I could do.  I didn’t do it alone.  Not only has God been beside me, behind me and in front of me, but He sent friends.  All of you people that cheer me on, encourage me, love on me and pray for me.  I couldn’t do any of this without you.  Thank you.  Thank you for believing in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It was the encouragement I needed at the exact time I needed it.  My mood lifted.  The sun came out.  7 more pounds down.  I patted myself on the back.  I’ll get to ONEDERLAND.  It will be glorious, all the more so not in spite of the hard work, ups and downs, successes and failures, but because of them.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” John Quincy Adams

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

 

http://bakinginatornado.com

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com

http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

 

I’d Prefer A “Desserted” Island (get it?)

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a deserted island what book would I bring…How To Build A Boat.” Steven Wright

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is:

You are going to spend a month on a deserted island, but you can only bring 3 things (not people) with you. What are they and why?

It was submitted by: http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/

Heaven.  That was the first word that came to mind when I imagined myself on a deserted island with no other people. Peace and quiet. Solitude.  And then…boredom.  It sounds so awesome in theory, but I’d probably be dying of boredom within the 1st hour. Unless I could bring Adam Levine, but the prompt quite clearly says…no people.  Boo!  If I could get Adam on a deserted island for 30 days, well… I’ll keep this G rated.

(On a sidenote, he’s (Adam, of course) having a baby ya’ll! I hope he/she gets his cotton candy colored hair…)

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Anyway, I digress…

Actually, if I’m being honest, my first thought was a “desserted” island, sort of like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory meets The Blue Lagoon, all brownie trees, chocolate chip cookie dough beaches and whip cream clouds.

I remember seeing the movie “Blue Lagoon” with Brooke Shields for the first time.  I always felt like she and I were kindred spirits, with our long brown hair and bushy eyebrows.  I spent many a teenage angsty moment living on the Blue Lagoon with the boy crush of the moment. But again, can’t take boys, so what to bring, what to bring…

The three things I would bring to a deserted island for a month…hmmm.  The only restriction was that I couldn’t bring people, so keeping that in mind, here is my list:

1) Tiny House – I am OBSESSED with the tiny house movement.

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I’ve told my kids repeatedly that when I get rather advanced in years, they can just plop one of these babies in the backyard, and I’ll live there quite happily till the day I die.  This assumes my husband goes first, I don’t think we could share a tiny house cause…reasons.

But seriously, how adorable are these tiny houses!

2)  A boat –  so I could leave the deserted island as needed to alleviate boredom and should the occasion arise that I miss other humans (doubtful but possible).  By boat, what I mean is…

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Go big or go home! Naturally (in what has quickly turned into a fantasy vacation), I would know how to operate this yacht, since I’m not allowed to bring people to my island.

3) my iPad – probably the one thing I truly couldn’t live without, mostly because of the kindle app.  I don’t need wifi to read books on my kindle and I have enough books downloaded on it to last for years probably, not just a month.  I’d construct myself a hammock made from the natural materials found on my little island, cause naturally it’s my fantasy and I’m the female MacGyver.  Ya’ll remember MacGyver right?  It was a television show about an average guy who thwarts his enemies by making complicated machines out of ordinary things you might find under your couch cushions, like pennies and paper clips.

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I think I made three really solid choices.  In fact, I may never leave this island.  Don’t worry, I’ll allow visitors.  It’ll be BYOTH (bring your own tiny house)!

“I have to say, if someone literally said to me, ‘You’re going off to a desert island, what is the one thing you would bring?’ I would say, ‘It’s my concealer or you can just kill me now.’ I’ve thought this through! Because I would find, like, berries in a bowl and make blush.”  Drew Barrymore

HAPPY FRIDAY!  LIVE IT UP THIS WEEKEND ❤

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

http://thelieberfamily.com

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/

http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com