Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My “Secret Subject” is:
You’re minding your own business, out for a walk in the lovely Spring weather. You run into a magical bunny. As you’re scratching behind his ears, he says to you… In gratitude for the lovely ear scratching, I’m granting you three wishes for yourself, and an additional wish that must benefit someone other than yourself.
What are your four wishes?!
It was submitted by: http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com
My favorite TV show growing up was definitely “I Dream of Jeannie”. I fantasized often about finding a genie bottle on the beach and being granted 3 wishes. The wishes themselves have changed over the years though. I will admit, in my fantasies, my genie never looked like this…
It was more this…
or even this…
Maybe a sexy cartoon Aladdin come to life to rescue me. I’m not complaining (I mean I am a little), a wish is a wish is a wish, I suppose the vehicle of a wishes deliverance matters not. Just to be clear, wishing that my wish-giver was hot and half-naked is not my 1st wish. I’m just thinking out loud.
(3 hours later)
Who knew thinking of 4 wishes could be so difficult. I don’t want to squander them. When wishing for things, I tend to be short-sighted. I’m probably way overthinking it. Eggs sound really good right now. Maybe I’ll go eat breakfast and mull it over. I make better decisions on a full stomach. I’d hate to wish for a house made of chocolate because I’m starving and it’s shark week (that time of the month). These are the kind of rash decisions I need to avoid. So eggs. More coffee. Then wishes.
(2 days later)
So, those were some really good eggs. And I got distracted by life. And I still don’t know what my wishes should be. When I got my topic, I thought it would be so easy peasy. Yeah…not so much. Thinking of one wish leads me to another wish which lead to an even better wish which reminds me of my initial wish. It’s enough to make a girl dizzy and confused. I really need to wash my sheets. BRB.
(5 days later)
So…this post and these wishes may never get made. I’m no closer today than I was a week ago to narrowing down these wishes (hashtag firstworldproblems – amirite?) You know what helps me think? Chick-Fil-A! I know what you’re thinking, just another diversion, but no really, nothing beats Chick-Fil-A when I need to get the brain juices flowing.
(6 hours later)
Also, Chick-Fil-A makes me full which makes me long for a nap which totally happened. Then I started watching Scandal, and OHMYHUCK… I won’t elaborate in case no one reading this actually watches Scandal, and I don’t want to be accused of rambling… Oh wait…too late. Sigh.
All is not completely lost, I do have good news. While ordering at Chick-Fil-A, I did come up with one wish! I know!!!! So exciting, that food is magical, I’m telling you. Why is it though that I usually only crave it on Sunday and it’s CLOSED?!?!?!?! Oops sorry, veering off track again. It happens. I’m kinda hungry again, but I’m going to finish out this wish first, I promise. I won’t leave you hanging.
So, I’m in the forever long line that is the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru seriously considering blowing my first wish on instant gratification, but I reign myself in just in time. I finally get up to the window and holy hotness batman, the cashier/order guy is hot. Not little boy hot and by little boy I mean high school age and not that I notice hot high school boys or ever drive slowly by high schools as football players are running around topless, but I mean really, boys did not look like that when I was 18. It hardly seems fair. ANYWAY, no this guy is like old. And by old, I mean late 20’s, early 30’s? My eyes are eye level with the best looking backside I have ever seen. I mean…is it hot in here? I need a fan. I can’t stop staring. Then I look up and he’s staring at me. I’m thinking, “oh shit did he notice I was totally checking out his ass?” Why is he staring? Why am I smiling like this? I look deranged. My lips have disappeared. Did I brush my teeth today? Maybe he’s noticed the coffee stain on my shirt? Or the fact that I left the house without a bra on and quite frankly THAT should NEVER happen. My reasoning was that I wasn’t getting out of the car, but it’s very awkward to have to pick up your boobs so as not to accidentally buckle them into the lap belt portion of your seat belt. You think I’m joking… And now you have a weird visual…sorry, go back to hot butt not in high school Chick-Fil-A guy. Breathe. In and out. In and out. Visual gone? Whew. Then I realize he’s asking me if I want any sauce. Is it wrong that I thought of this movie line in “Wayne’s World?”
Yeah, I know…all kinds of wrong. Sorry not sorry. If anyone could ruin a perfectly good topic like being on the receiving end of 4 anything you want wishes…it’s me. Now that I’ve taken you places you never ever wanted to go and from which you may never recover, let’s FINALLY get to my first wish.
I wish for the boobs of my youth. Vain? Yes. Shallow? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely. I want perky. I want to be able to leave my house without a bra occasionally and not horrify a nation. I don’t want surgery or drainage bags or future ruptures or dots and lines drawn all over my chest by a plastic surgeon that does NOT look like McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy and has cold fish-like hands. I want beautiful boobs. I want boobs I don’t have to scoop up to fit inside my bra cup. I want boobs that don’t fall into my armpit when I lie down. I want boobs that don’t peak out from the bottom of my t-shirt…that hangs down to my knees. Forget about the pencil test, I could hold a set of 120 colored pencils under each breast. Now that you’ll never be able to look me in the eye again…let’s move on. I think I’ve exhausted this topic.
Coming up with one wish was exhausting and terrifying. I’m depleted. Can my 2nd wish be unlimited wishes? I mean, the only rule was that at least one of my wishes be for someone else. Is there a wishing rule book? I need the facts! I can’t work under these conditions. I have to understand the RULES. I’m assuming I can’t wish for unlimited wishes because that feels like cheating, then again it’s my blog, my post and maybe the rule is that you can make your own rules? This level of thinking this early in the morning hurts my brain. Honestly, I bet the wishing genie bunny wants to punch me in the face right now. I bet he’s sorry he stopped for me.
The truth is I feel like I’ve got everything I could ever possibly want. I’ve got an amazing husband, the world’s greatest children. I’ve been blessed with a family that supports and loves me. I’ve been blessed with 4 healthy and beautiful children. While my life is never perfect and comes with it’s fair share of challenges, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t wish for it to be any different. I love my life. I love my family. It’s perfectly imperfectly tailor made just for me, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one thing. Well…
I still want the boobs though. I’m not giving up that wish.
WISH FOR ANOTHER
This one is easy. I wish that my son passes the STAAR test the FIRST time. We pulled him out of a brick and mortar school in January, which is another blog post entirely that I’ll get to eventually. We decided to homeschool him, but I stuck with public online schooling because I just didn’t know enough about homeschooling to feel I could completely tackle it on my own. It’s been an amazing and positive experience thus far and I have no regrets. The only downside is that he still has to pass the STAAR test to continue on to 6th grade. He’s come a long way in just a few short months, but he still has some catching up to do. I pray and hope that what we’ve been able to accomplish in these last 2 months has been enough to pass him. We are proud of him no matter what, because I know how hard he’s been working, but if he passes the 1st time, the boost to his confidence…well it just can’t be measured. I want that so badly for him. So that is my 4th and final wish for another. Please Mr. Genie Bunny grant me this wish. You can ignore everything else I’ve rambled on about here today, and just make sure my son passes that STAAR test the FIRST time.
Thank you for indulging in my nonsense for what might have felt like an eternity. Hopefully you made it to the end! I’ll be sure and let you know how my most important final wish turns out for us (fingers crossed) ❤
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado http://www.BakingInATornado.com
Spatulas on Parade http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html
The Lieber Family Blog http://thelieberfamily.com
The Bergham Chronicles http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com
Bookworm in the Kitchen http://www.bookwormkitchen.com/
Never Ever Give Up Hope http://batteredhope.blogspot.com
Simply Shannon http://shannonbutler.org
Southern Belle Charm http://www.southernbellecharm.com
Not That Sarah Michelle http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com
A Little Piece of Peace http://little-piece-of-peace.blogspot.com
The Angrivated Mom http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/
When I Grow Up http://kimberlyyavorski.com/whenigrowup/