Why You’re Just a Freakin’ Ball of Sunshine!

My third and fifth (YES FIFTH!) award nominations this week came from two of my favorite bloggers, Chewylicious and It’s A Dome Life.  They honored me with The Sunshine Award!  There is a fourth, I can count (sometimes), I am just saving that one to do at a later time.  This award seems appropriate to address today because on not one but two occasions my husband had cause to mutter “why you’re just a freakin’ ball of sunshine”.  Not only is it lovely to know that anyone would think of me in conjunction with an award of any type, but it also serves the dual purpose of giving me things to write about, which is awesome, so thank you!

This weekend, I combined two things I loathe:

  1. Crowds
  2. Heat

We had a brief 5 second respite from the heat last week, but it was back with a vengeance this weekend, topping out at a hellish 96 freaking degrees with no breeze, no cloud cover, just brutal sun beating down on my head and giving me cankles and a sunburn.  Yes, cankles.  Like I couldn’t possibly get any sexier, my ankles swelled up like puffer fish today.  It looked like my calves were sitting atop my feet, hence the term cankles.

On Saturday, we attended the Annual Drumline Competition.  We are a musical family, mostly because we just suck at sports and we’re short people.  My husband is the tallest member of our family at 5’5 (he’ll argue here and say 5’6 but no…maybe with shoes on).  It wouldn’t appear that my son is going to be blessed with a throwback tall gene.  We’ve exposed man-child to all the major sports, mostly with spectacularly disastrous results.  Man-child is VERY dramatic (I have no idea where he gets this particular trait…it’s a mystery), so usually you’re invited to a man-child super-size meltdown and a football or soccer game might break out.  There was his one moment of glory when he scored a touchdown for the other team.  Surprisingly, we were left off the e-mail to join again the next season.  So, he’s been taking drum lessons, and we are thinking of signing him up for guitar and piano lessons as well, maybe some martial arts.  Turns out in a weird twist of fate, he’s really good at tennis.  His coach thinks him a natural with one teensy tiny problem…his mouth.  He possesses quite a colorful vocabulary and a gift for sarcasm.  Sometimes, I’m quite shocked he belongs to me, but I blame his teenage sisters.  Clearly.  I mean it’s so obvious.  Right?

Anyway, the one sport he actually showed some aptitude for he doesn’t want to play again.  He insists he wants to play football.  I insist he doesn’t. We took him to this Drumline Competition in the hopes it would excite and motivate him.  If I can’t live vicariously through my kids then what was the point in having them?!??!  After bribing him with snacks, we show up at the stadium, where it is hot and crowded.  He whines the entire time.  We have a sort of existential conversation about which is manlier, percussion or football, when this school marches out on the field…

Set.  Game.  Match. Man-child wins this round.

Today, we decide to attend the Annual Balloon Festival.  The “Dawn Patrol” balloons are set to lift off at 6:30am, and it’s supposed to be beautiful.  The balloons all light up from the flames pumping them into the air, while it’s still dark outside.  We arrive on time at 6:00am, make the 1 mile hike down to the balloon field, with the cool (ish) temps hovering around 68 degrees, only to hear this announcement:

“Dawn Patrol decided late last night NOT to lift off this morning for reasons unknown.”

Are you effing kidding me?  The regular launch is set to take place around 7:30, so we have a little over an hour to wait, and most of the festival isn’t even open yet.  The complain and whine fest has begun though….so there’s that.  Mostly from me.  Okay, all of it pretty much from me.  Did I mention we hiked a mile?  You know how I feel about exercise.  And crowds.  The heat is coming.  A ray of sunshine, I was not.  My daughter pointed out that at least we get to see the sunrise.  She got the death stare.

Is there anything worse than someone trying to see the bright side of things when you are just as determined to be in a funk?  I know you are all super jealous of my husband and kids right now, getting to spend this quality bonding time with me.  Eventually, the sun did rise, and my mood slightly improved.  It was beautiful, watching these balloons.

Once the balloons get off the ground, we decide it’s time to eat and play our way through the festival.  Man-child is itchy for some fun rides!

All the kids around him are either scared stiff or sobbing, and there’s my boy…“WOO HOO!  YEAH!”  I’m pretty sure at one point he was taunting some of the other kids, but it was hard to tell over the crying and hysterical screams for “mommy” or “daddy”.  On top of being dramatic, man-child is fearless.  Sometimes, I am envious.  Everything scares me.  How I raised this fearless, fun-loving little boy, I’ll never know…if I wasn’t positive he came out of me…I’d wonder if he was mine.  At this point, my little ray of sunshine has brightened my mood, and I am feeling almost worthy of this award.

Until the fight.

Not so much a “fight” really, more of a verbal fist fight with passive/aggressive undertones.  When your kid is having fun, every moment is a photo-op.  I totally get that, and I feel the same way.  However, I am always amazed at how some people are so utterly freaking unconscious of their surroundings.  There is a guy holding his obnoxiously ginormous camera with like 50 attachments standing right in front of the inflatable slide waiting for his kid to get to the top.  Other kids are coming down the slide, and their poor parents are trying to snap the moment with their iPhones or other camera phone, but this guy is completely oblivious and makes no move to get out of the way.  His child is in front of mine, so while I watch in bemused fascination, I’m figuring he’ll be gone before my munchkin makes it down the slide for his photo-op moment.  He does a series of candid and styled shots while his daughter is at the top of the slide.  My smile is holding, man-child hasn’t made it up the rock-climbing wall yet.  Finally, this dad gives his daughter the go ahead to slide down, except she doesn’t.  She uses her feet to stop every 2 feet, and he snaps yet more photos.  I can’t tell if she’s terrified, or if she’s been instructed to go slow so he can snap better pics.  At this point, my son is at the top waiting his turn to go down.  She’s not even halfway down the slide yet.  I begin with my passive-aggressive attack, each sentence mumbled under my breath and punctuated with a sigh.

<sigh> a few times

<sigh> louder, once

“Seriously.” <sigh>

“Are you kidding me?” <sigh>

“Oh, good grief!” <sigh>

“Unbelievable, some people.” <sigh>

At this point man-child is getting impatient and nothing passive-aggressive about his stance.

Man-child “COME ON! LET’S DO THIS! SLIDE ALREADY! AH, MAN!” the employee working the slide tells man-child something to which he responds, “BUT SHE’S TAKING FOREVER!”  That’s my boy!

Meanwhile, back at the bottom of the slide, the girl has finally made it.  Do they leave?  NO!  They bring over her little sister, and start doing family portraits, at the bottom of the slide!

“ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!”  This I actually say out loud.  The wife turns around and looks at me.  I give her the death glare.  It doesn’t even phase her.  SERIOUSLY?  I’m about to have a celebrity/paparazzi moment and smash that camera on the ground, when they finally wrap it up.

Just so it’s clear how disgusted I am with them, I say “I just can’t believe how RUDE some people are…I mean ridiculous!”  They both turn to look at me, and I turned on my “oh yeah, you wanna piece of me” face.  Meanwhile, my son finished his turn and I missed my photo-op, so I had to stand in that stupid line again.

My husband had taken the 1 daughter that decided to accompany us on this fine day to get funnel cake.

He’s telling me that the funnel cake was free, because the guy working the booth knows him from the gym.

Hubs:  “See, hun…it pays to be friendly”

Me:  “I almost got into a fight”

Hubs:  “Oh God, I can’t leave you for 5 seconds.”

Me:  “The world is full of idiots, I don’t know what you expect me to do?”

Hubs:  “You’re just a freakin’ ball of sunshine today.  I can’t take you anywhere.”

Me:  <mouth full of funnel cake, can’t respond>  In my head though, I’m screaming “HEY!  PEOPLE LIKE ME! I WON  TWO FREAKING SUNSHINE AWARDS, SO SHOVE IT!”

Oh, and speaking of my award…  In the usual fashion, I answer some questions, and then pick my own nominees on which to bestow this award.

  1. What is your favorite Christmas/Festive movie:  This one’s easy peasy… ELF.  LOVE THIS MOVIE.  “I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite!”
  2. What is your favorite flower:  Tulips
  3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage:  Diet Pepsi
  4. What is your passion:  Writing.  It’s an outlet for me. I find it cathartic, and without it I’d probably have a passion for killing people.
  5. What is your favorite time of the year:  Fall/Winter, and they both need to get here, I can’t take these 90+ degree days anymore.
  6. What is your favorite time of the day:  I like mornings.  It’s quiet, no one is up yet, and I get to sit, read and enjoy my coffee.
  7. What is your favorite physical activity:  Bhahahahahahahahahahaha.  No seriously.  LOL.  Napping.
  8. What is your favorite vacation:  My husband and I went on an Alaskan cruise and spent 1 week in Vancouver.  That was pretty awesome.  We also took a family RV trip to Florida, which might get funniest trip ever taken, but not enough time has passed to consider it one of the greatest or even a favorite.  We will let that vacation marinate a few more years.

Now, I’m supposed to nominate other bloggers.  There are so many good ones that I enjoy and follow, but for this award, I’m going to cheat and only nominate one blogger.  His photographs are beautiful and looking at his blog brings a little sunshine to my day, so I encourage any one reading this to take a look.  Maybe he’ll brighten your day 🙂

Thanks again to my amazing and wonderful fellow bloggers who bestowed this award upon me.  It’s wonderful to know that you both thought of me, and makes me want to continue putting my crazy thoughts out there in the blogosphere.

Here is my nominee:

Patrick Latter

8 thoughts on “Why You’re Just a Freakin’ Ball of Sunshine!

  1. You light up my life, seriously. I can always count on you to make me laugh. Thank God you are writing instead of killing people.

  2. Congrats on the award! I was cringing when I was reading this post because there are so many rude people out there who do this shit with their kids—not even caring about the other families they are inconveniencing. I never used to have the guts to call them out on it, but now that I am bitchy and menopausal, I have no problem telling it like it is. At Disney last year some lady yelled at me for giving my hubs a sexy smooch on the ride—I told her she was just jealous cuz she probably wasn’t getting any! Oh, if looks could kill… haha! Found you on the hop and just subscribed under the name Marciakesterdoyle. I’ll enjoy future posts from you! http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

    • Okay, I unspammed you and followed your blog. I hear ya about posting frequency. For a couple of years, we just did vacation blogs, it’s only been recently that I’ve tried to be consistent. I’m doing a challenge in October to post daily…it’s gonna be tough.

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